I remember our very first date night with my husband as new parents. It was nerve wrecking. Minutes before we were scheduled to take my son to my mother in laws, I contemplated cancelling the whole thing a hundred times over in my mind. Could I really ‘pull a sickie’ on my husband and get away with it?
He would see right through it, mummy guilt and all. Isaac was 6 weeks old at the time, we were both sleep deprived, my internet browser was flooded with tabs and links from post-natal help to remedies to relieve a colic baby.
A date night was imperative. Mummy guilt just had to wait. Isaac would be safe, he would be fine, it was one night, just one night of sleep, one night to remember each other. And remember we did. We sat over a beautiful dinner at one of our favourite restuarants in Melbourne and spoke about being parents, spoke about our goals, our fears, our dreams for the future, spoke about each other how incredibly proud of one another we were, how we didn’t think loving another human being apart from each other was even possible.
Date nights. Date days. They are a weekly or sometimes fortnightly MUST in our home. Granted we have the freedom of having the children looked after 99% of the time by our nanny since moving abroad, and I understand this isn’t as easy back home, but when there is a will there is a way. There is a grandparent, a sibling, uncle, aunt or best friend that can surely do you and your partner a solid and take the kids for just a few hours. Those few hours to re-calibrate, regain your sanity, remember who you were before children and how great you’ve become since. It’s the chance to remember and recognise each other behind the 3am screaming crying wake up calls, the 8-6pm draining work hours, the colds, flus and night terrors which leave you both sleepless and ready to throw in the towel if you could.
It’s that one night or day you get to just have a great meal, a movie, a long drive, an icecream or a smoothie, that chance to put your feet up together and say, “kids”?, “what kids?” and laugh or cry, and remember just how incredible a job you are both doing. Trust me, your children may not realise it now, but they will thank you for it later. Healthy relationship – healthy parenting – happy family.
Day date, Bakemart Gourmet – Umm Suqeim, Dubai – October 2017