Nova

nova [ imenica / NOUN ] nova [ ženski rod {astrologija/astrology} ] Latin, feminine. singular. of novus new.

– A star that ejects some of its material in the form of a cloud and become more luminous in the process.

– Star suddenly increasing in brightness for short time.

– A faint star that suddenly erupts in brightness by 10,0times or more. Novae are believed to occur in close binary star systems, where gas from one star flows to a companion white dwarf. The gas ignites and is thrown off in an explosion at speeds of 1,5kps/9mps or more. Unlike a supernova, the star is not completely disrupted by the outburst. After a few weeks or months it subsides to its previous state; it may erupt many more times.

The name comes from the Latin “new”, although novae are not new stars at all.

Nova –Serbian; meaning ‘New’.Sentence; “Sretna Nova Godina; English = Happy New Year

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It’s that time of the year again, another year has passed us quicker then the year before it. Time is funny like that. I always feel a mixture of emotions when the year draws to an end. I can’t help but look back on the one that’s past and and recap it’s highs and lows, as well as await eagerly with anticipation on what the new one has to offer.

2017 was a huge year of personal growth.

It was the year I truly found my feet in Dubai as an expat. It was the year I finally stopped doubting myself as a mother. It was a year I accepted that maybe returning to Melbourne wasn’t on the cards right now and that that was ok. It was a year I accepted my new life and more importantly it was a year I accepted myself.

I started this blog, I put myself back out into the world both online and on the ground, and in doing so I’ve met some incredible woman along the way. Some of whom have become family filling the void that comes with packing up and starting anew. I couldn’t have done it without some of them, without their support, encouragement and love.

2017 was a year of letting go. I let go of the all the negative self talk, all the false beliefs that I dragged with me for far too long. I let go of guilt and shame and owned my story I feel for the very first time. I owned my mental health condition and stopped believing that anxiety and panic attacks had any real control over my life. I stopped defining my well being based on panic free days. Even a panic filled day was a day lived to its fullest. I stopped doubting myself and my capabilities and truly started to believe that I could do whatever it was I wanted too, I was free to start living the life I chose to live.

2017 was a massive year of change. I embraced the notion of wearing a headscarf. This was HUGE! I changed a life long mentality towards something I felt no connection too into a huge form of personal empowerment and a massive step in my spiritual growth. I renewed and recalibrated my focus towards my Creator, and found an overwhelming love of self in doing so.

It has been easy to embrace in my current environment however I do anticipate the day that I won’t feel so comfortable wearing it in Australia or around my non-Muslim family. I still care far too much about their opinion and their acceptance of me, and I fear this is something they just won’t be able to look past just yet. I guess only time will tell and only prayers will make easier.

This is the thing about change, so many people fear it, I guess the familiar is always more comfortable. But unless we allow ourselves to truly embrace change and understand that growth is dependent on it, only then will we be able to accept and embrace the blessings that come from it. Like I said, my mind only 12 short months ago was completely closed to the idea of hijab, and then in one desperate night of begging God for a door to open for me, supplications saturated in tears, a seed was planted in my heart. And just like that I began to love and embrace something I won’t ever regret.

All in all, 2017 has been one of my favorite years to date. I pray 2018 brings more growth and lessons, more stars erupting in brightness, more light spread and shared amongst those we love and love us. I pray we find our inner peace and then maybe we can attain a collective peace; I pray for light upon light, for hearts to be ignited with it and for forgiveness to run through the veins of those who seek it. I pray that we never stop becoming bigger and better versions of ourselves.

Dubai, UAE – 2017